My Last Tear Drop

The pain is here again. It is slowly coming down to my vein. It is getting intolerable as time passes by and I don't think I could bear it any longer. So I pack my things in hastily. I really don't know where I should go from here but I have to be away from all of this hurting memory before my sanity leaves me.


I take the first Bus that my eyes laid upon. I don't know where it is going;
I don’t care where it would lead me. All I care is for the pain to ease. A tear drop fall from my tired eyes, I promise to myself it would be the last tear my eyes will shed for you.

I close my eyes for a while and maybe because of many restless nights, I unconsciously fall asleep.

And there you are again in my dream, looking so handsome and dazzling as usual. Even in a crowd, my heart can easily identify you, in my eyes you simply outshine all of them, I silently follow you move with my eyes, and it seems that you are at lost and looking for someone. Suddenly you stop on your track as if you have found what you are looking for. With unreadable expression in your eyes, your gaze fell on me as if you’re trying to read what I am feeling inside. And then gradually a smile came out from your sweet lips. The smile that makes my heart beat so fast that makes me barely catch my breath. Oh! I am alive again. I can feel my heart pounding so fast. It’s been quite a long time since I last saw that smile on your lips for me and it is miraculously healing all my wounds. It is taking away all my pain. Shall I smile back to you? I am ready to forgive and forget all the pains. Yes, I can do it. You are the reason why I am alive again. I am willing to settle for anything that you would offer just come back to me. I hesitantly smile back to you. With that you started walking towards me with a wide smile on your face.

Tears of joy are now rolling down from my eyes. I have already lost hope. I have already given up. And I couldn’t believe that you are here standing in front of me. I widely open my arms to welcome you back.

But why I don’t feel the familiar warmth in your embrace? I couldn’t feel anymore that special connection that we have every time we touch. And why my heart says that this will be the last time I will hold you in my arms?

A tap from your back made you release me abruptly from your arms; I let you go with bewildering look on my face. And there she is, the girl you have chosen over me, she is pulling you away from me with that insulting look in her face.


But why are you not struggling away from her? Why are you letting her take you away from me? Oh no! You can’t do this to me again! I plead to you! Fight her and come back to me.

I suddenly felt so alone, the crowd seems disappear and deserted me to my own misery. But why there are no tears in my eyes? Is it possible that I weep with dry eyes, or, just simply because my tears had finally run dry?

A gentle tap on my shoulder wakes me up from my dream. A hand offering a hankie is the first thing that my eyes laid upon. “Weep no more my child. Take this and dry your tears” from the unfamiliar voice beside me. I shyly accepted it and dry the tears on my face.

But I promise to myself, this will be my last tear drop...

My Eyes Wont Dry

I was hurt and was broken into pieces. I didn't know that it could be really so painful that it would make me want to run away and escape from truth. I dont think I can breathe the same air that I am breathing before, take the same path that I am walking, meet the same people that I use to nod and greet everyday. I am feeling suffocated, my tears wont dry as if there is a spring inside my eyes.

Anywhere i turn my eyes, all the memories are there. There were nights that I would fall asleep crying and wake-up

just to cry again. I wish I am dead, maybe this is what feels like to be a living dead. Working and living without purpose. I guess this is what people meant to say that somebody took their heart away from them. Yes, you took my heart away from me and leave it somewhere. I am not sure if it is still beating coz I cannot hear it anymore. Maybe that is why my eyes wont dry, it is mourning for my dead heart.

I need space, a new environment where I can find my heart. Maybe it can still be save and can put it back in its right place. I know there would be scars coz it has been terribly wounded...

But maybe when I find my heart again, my eyes will dry...